Game is Free

I sat in my car bumping my “motivation” music. As the bass from a Young Jeezy track rattled my eardrums, I said my affirmations aloud—“I’m as sharp as a tack. I’m 100 percent ‘on’. My words reflect the knowledge I’ve learned, my insight, and my character. When I walk into a room, I attract attention for all the right reasons. I have something to bring to the table.” I swung open the car door and my stilettos hit the pavement, beating out a rhythm that oozed nothing but confidence.

I walked into the room and power networked. I remembered new faces and names. I spoke to old acquaintances and asked about their kids and their hobbies and their summer vacations that I’d seen on Facebook. As I worked the room, I remembered the lessons my father taught me, “Don’t be the first to enter the room or the last to leave. Don’t partake in every conversation. Say only what’s necessary and what’s good. Sometimes silence is golden.”

At some point, I found myself at a cozy table in the back of the room. A woman I hadn’t met before sat, reading something on her laptop screen. I perched down beside her and opened mine. After a few moments of silence, she asked a few introductory questions. I discovered that we both had careers aligned with marketing. For a few moments, I expounded on my knowledge, but then the dynamics changed. She owned a firm that had hundred thousand-dollar clients. I was out of my league.

She sensed my façade cracking and started to ask deep and penetrating questions. I felt like a fish out of water. I was confident in my education, experience and talent, but as she spoke, I couldn’t front on my feelings. It dawned on me that she knew much more.

What could I do? Pretend that I was something that I hadn’t achieved yet? I knew that I would inevitably say the wrong thing, reveal the limited extent of my expertise and possibly embarrass myself. As I contemplated my dilemma, a small voice inside said, “Humble yourself.”

So, I changed my energy around. I slipped out of my shoes, closed my laptop, pulled out my phone and asked if I could take notes. I revealed my strategies and my hopes and my fears for my business. And she, in return, gave me sound, rational and insightful advice. In that moment, I realized that to be “on” was to be open. If I wanted to be everything that I desired to be, learning was essential. I could’ve taken a marketing class online but that one-on-one with her became as valuable to me as a marketing degree. And I didn’t pay one cent for it. Because game is free.