The Art of Failure

Success and failure is an area of life that is usually defined in black and white terms. An objective is outlined and if it's met fully, the subject is seen as a success. If it's not, then the subject is seen as a failure.

Personally, I believe that there is room for gray areas. Hypothetically, let's say, the goal was to workout 5 days per week. The person didn't do them all but worked out for 3 days. The failure of the 2 days doesn't negate the success of the 3. In the end, time invested wasn't the true goal but health, the burning of calories and the loss of weight. Perfection shouldn't be the hallmark of success. Progress should.

Part of the reason that many people are so keen on perfection is that they fear being a failure in the eyes of others. On that metaphorical journey to weight loss, we might sneak a cookie and cut ourselves some slack. But God forbid someone else see's us do it. What will they think?! Their perception of our perfection would be shattered. We fear we could never be redeemed in their eyes.

Another reason is that we compare ourselves to others "glory" without knowing their "story." We admire Cardi's perfect body but missed the story of weight loss surgery, health setbacks, swelling, pain and her eventual return to a strenuous gym routine.

There is power in having others to be accountable to, and there is a time and place to share our goals, hopes and dreams. But I would argue that the ability to move in silence is an essential tool to have in one's arsenal of life skills.  

Give yourself space to develop. Sometimes it's better to let others know when a goal is completed, not when it's in progress or begun. The only constant is change and things can change on a dime. Face yourself in the mirror and analyze the true reason you desire for others to know.

Praise and approval shouldn't be the reason we want to do something. We should want to do it solely because the end result would bring us some measure of fulfillment or joy.

There is beauty in failure. It humbles us. Sometimes it drives us toward the Divine, on a quest for a higher reason for it all. We learn to acknowledge that we really should practice more, hone our skills. We accept that we might have placed value in the wrong places, people, or things. Failure is a chance to look at ourselves, real and raw, and truly find out what we're made of. When our soul is on the ground, we discover our character as we fortify ourselves to eventually rise again.

But beware of the pitfalls. There is an art to failing gracefully. There are external voices to consider. And if we aren't careful, our own minds can judge us and beat us up for all the things we could have done. The "what if's" and "if only's."

I believe that art is something deeply personal. It's an expression of each of our own human potential. I could tell you what works for me, but ultimately your art should be for you, by you. Your soul has a compass that will direct your path if you get still and listen.

I've failed hundreds of times in private. But I cried, then I tried, and when it was time I straightened my crown and showed my success to the world.